Artist Statement
Year of the Rabbit
2023 - 2024
Transcript of Artist Statement
04/19/24
I completed this body of work in February of this year but felt it had was missing something. It wasn’t until I came here, to Kyoto, that I realized what it was.
This week we saw many shows as part of Kyotographie as well as the Murakami exhibit – I think Mononoke Kyoto or something? For me the ones that fell flat had vague descriptions or didn’t feel personal enough – there was a lack of connection between photographer – subject – and viewer. This work, ‘Year of the Rabbit’ is very personal to me. When I turned 24 I was 80-something lbs and praying every day to live a normal healthy life again. It was a couple months before then when things started to shift for me – Feb. 2023. Prior to that, in the year before, I experienced several changes in my life. I began working full time, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and my partner, Maggy and I took on a big undertaking, screening a movie at a local cinema. Perhaps the stress of life mixed with my bad habits and lack of understanding of my body’s needs led me to the beginning of ‘Year of the Rabbit’. So, anyway, back to this work that you’re viewing. I had a mystery illness that began in Feb. 2023 where I just couldn’t eat. It sounds crazy, I know. I just couldn’t. Every time I tried I felt so full and nauseous. I hate feeling nauseous, so much so that it makes me so anxious. I tried to carry on like this, eating a few bites of plain rice and some sips of water before I hit my stomach’s capacity. As you can imagine, if you’re eating like this every day you’ll lose energy fast. I became practically bedbound because I had no energy. I cried everyday – nothing worked. I went to multiple doctors, was given meds, and it just wouldn’t get better. My last straw was being in the ER only to be told I was dehydrated and asked If I was anorexic (I understand this is a valid question – I would have wondered the same thing too if I was the dr. but it really set me off since all I wanted to do was be healthy, look it, and eat goddammit!!). Anyway, long story short, I took matters into my own hands and found holistic ways to heal. Now I’m better than ever. Oh, and beyond my recovery Maggy and I moved to Japan – a nice finale to the end of this challenging time. I hope this adds more context to this work and that it touches you in some way. I felt the need to write this as soon as I woke up. Now it’s 6:58 AM. I’m leaving today to go back to Tokyo. This is the only writing device I had available to me in my hotel room besides my phone. Sometimes I feel less pressure writing on paper than I do my phone – especially when it’s so personal. Thanks.